The Beauty Before the Madness (Free First Round Upset Pick From Bracket Expert)

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I’m just another guy with a bracket who’s trying to gain an edge over the rest of the field this time of year. Unfortunately, I made the rookie mistake of perusing through the good ole Tok on Sunday evening. Boy was that a bad call. It’s still the calm before the storm, and my brain is already crumbling like a stale cookie. I’m still war ready, though. Clear eyes, full heart, ready to lose.

This Bracket is Built Different

This bracket is already a total crapshoot compared to most years. From the naked eye, there isn’t a clear top tier of teams who should cruise to the Final Four like usual. It truly is up for grabs this year. For Christ’s Sake, the Zags already lost to the 6 seed in their own region a few months ago. The Top 25 was an iPod shuffle all year long. (Side note, most underrated Apple product of all time).

On top of this year’s bracket being objectively challenging, my brain was put in a total blender shortly after Selection Sunday. All thanks to our good friends over at TikTok. I locked in on a few March Madness Toks, and before I knew it, I got stuck in a never-ending loophole of total despair. 

Everyone Needs to Chill Out

There’s nothing quite like a bunch of dudes in their mid-20’s shouting in my face on TikTok about advanced analytics. Their neck veins popping through my phone screen as they describe revolutionary statistical models for “guaranteed underdog winners all of March.” Once there’s a case for every team, it all just becomes a giant waste of time. There are so many hardo’s on the internet now who think they’re experts at gambling. It’s hilarious. Imagine thinking you’re smarter than thousands of computers in Las Vegas, Nevada.

My Favorite Upset on the Board

So instead of doing hours of research to go 40% in my bracket and lose 70% of the bets that I’ll place, I’m just gonna do me. I’m gonna hunker down with some coffee, Goldfish, and cold cuts, and have myself a time. I’m not gonna worry about all the advanced numbers and models that all these narps spend way too much time developing and analyzing (besides KenPom). KenPom is tight.

I filled out my bracket today 100% based on my gut and slapped it on the fridge like a real one. It’ll be worthless by 2 PM on Thursday, and that’s part of what keeps you coming back every year. So instead of getting all wound up after Longwood beats Tennessee, just bend the knee to before the storm begins and you’ll be much happier come Sunday.

-Cam Duley (Twitter: cammy_coco_)

(Featured Image Credit to Buzzfeed)

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